Are you postponing your life until you reach some milestone? Do you believe you will eventually have more time, energy, money, health, or something else that you don’t have now that would make it possible to finally do what you want?
What are you waiting for? This IS your life!
The Big Lie: When-Then
If you tell yourself that you’ll start living your life after you accomplish some goal, you are living what I call “The Big Lie.” Perhaps you’ve told yourself some version of this popular lie:
When (something happens), then (I’ll do, feel, or be something different).
Here are just a few examples. I’ll bet you probably have a few of your own!
- When I lose weight, then I’ll be happy.
- When my kids start school, then I’ll start exercising.
- When my kids are in college, then I’ll make more time for friends.
- When I have a new manager, then I’ll ask for the raise I deserve.
- When my blood sugar is under better control, then I’ll go in for my diabetes check-up.
- When I retire, then I’ll travel.
- And my personal favorite: When I finish this project, then I’ll finally be caught up and I can relax!
What are you waiting for?
The problem is that often the when never arrives and/or the then never happens. In the meantime we’re postponing our lives and missing other possibilities. If and when when comes, we simply replace it with another when.
Day by day, promise by promise, our lives slip away. While we are waiting for something to change, we are missing out on our lives as they are today.
What have you been waiting for? What are you missing our on while you wait for the elusive when/then? Your life is this present moment and the time is now!
When I’m done with my diet, then I’ll try mindful eating
Here at Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Programs and Training we often encounter this When/Then lie in this form:
When I’m done with this diet, then I’ll figure out what this mindful eating thing is all about!
For most people, dieting leads to deprivation, more cravings, eating, and guilt. As restriction takes you further from your ability to listen to your body and trust your body wisdom, you become more convinced that you must “try just one more diet.”
So day by day, month by month, year by year, you try one diet after the other (or the same diet over and over). All the while, the possibility of learning a whole new way to think about food is just waiting for you.
I get it. Mindful eating may seem too good to be true! You may wonder, how could giving up dieting and learning these new skills help bring my eating back into balance?
It can, and for thousands of people it already has!
So what are you waiting for?
This article is updated from a previous version.
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