{"id":19727,"date":"2022-12-07T08:36:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-07T15:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/?p=19727"},"modified":"2022-12-07T10:09:10","modified_gmt":"2022-12-07T17:09:10","slug":"what-if-i-binge-because-i-feel-a-lack-of-love-and-belonging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/what-if-i-binge-because-i-feel-a-lack-of-love-and-belonging\/","title":{"rendered":"What is binge eating? What can I do about it?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We received this anonymous binge eating question on our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCsU8mEdg8JJ4q3DscnqmO7Q\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">#AskAmIHungry YouTube channel<\/a>: \u201cWhat if you binge because you live alone and lack a feeling of love and belonging?\u201d In this video, the questions, &#8220;What is Binge Eating Disorder?&#8221; and &#8220;What can you do about BED?&#8221; are addressed by Dr. Michelle May, co-creator of the <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/programs\/mindful-eating-for-binge-eating\/\">Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Program and Training<\/a> and co-author of <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/marketplace\/binge-eating-set\/\"><em>Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating: A Mindful Eating Program to Heal Your Relationship with Food and Your Body<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/4hyCtLnj-ZM\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>#AskAmIHungry Video Transcript:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Thank you for your question, and let me first let me say that I&#8217;m sorry you are struggling. It is totally understandable that you would reach for food to soothe these feelings.<\/p>\n<p>Emotional eating is using food to regulate emotions, in other words, attempting to manage your mood with food. It is important to acknowledge that emotional connections to food are normal and healthy! We eat to comfort ourselves, soothe a hurt, experience pleasure, celebrate, and reward ourselves for a job well done \u2013 among many other reasons. And there\u2019s nothing wrong with it!<\/p>\n<p>Emotional eating only becomes a problem when it\u2019s the primary way you cope with or avoid your feelings.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe you\u2019ve noticed that you reach for food when you\u2019re feeling stressed, bored, lonely, mad, or sad. When your habit is to use food instead of paying attention to what these emotions are trying to tell you about your underlying needs, those needs go unmet. And of course, those unmet needs will continue to drive emotional eating.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll come back to meeting those needs, but you used the word \u201cbinge,\u201d so I want to take a few moments to talk more about that. People sometimes use that word when they feel they have eaten (or watched Netflix!) excessively.<\/p>\n<p>However, binge eating may become an eating disorder.<\/p>\n<h2>What is Binge Eating Disorder?<\/h2>\n<p>The <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/programs\/mindful-eating-for-binge-eating\/diagnostic-criteria-for-binge-eating\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">criteria for the diagnosis of Binge Eating Disorder (or BED)<\/a> include: Recurrent episodes (meaning at least once a week for three months on average) of eating a larger amount of food than normal during a short time frame and feeling you cannot stop eating or control what or how much you are eating.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>The binge eating is associated with at least three of the following:<br \/>\n\u2022 Eating faster than normal<br \/>\n\u2022 Eating until you feel uncomfortably full<br \/>\n\u2022 Eating large amounts of food even though you are not physically hungry<br \/>\n\u2022 Eating alone because you feel embarrassed by how much you are eating<br \/>\n\u2022 Feeling disgusted, depressed, or very guilty after eating<\/li>\n<li>People with BED experience marked distress about the binge eating.<\/li>\n<li>People with BED don\u2019t typically compensate for bingeing (by vomiting, for example).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2>What can you do about BED?<\/h2>\n<p>Many people with BED try different diets to stop the bingeing, but that only compounds the problem by creating feelings of deprivation, cravings, and guilt. We call it the binge-repent-repeat cycle.<\/p>\n<p>While it might seem hopeless, BED can be successfully treated, so it is important get it diagnosed! If you think you might binge eat, you can take the screening test, the <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/programs\/mindful-eating-for-binge-eating\/binge-eating-scale\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Binge Eating Scale<\/a>, on our website. You can also find more information about BED on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nationaleatingdisorders.org\/learn\/by-eating-disorder\/bed\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">National Eating Disorder<\/a> website.<\/p>\n<h2>Am I Hungry? Binge Eating Disorder options<\/h2>\n<h3>BED Self-Help<\/h3>\n<p>Our <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/marketplace\/binge-eating-set\/\">Mindful Eating for Binge Eating set<\/a> includes a copy of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating and the Companion Workbook and Awareness Journal.<\/p>\n<h3>Binge Eating Programs and Therapists<\/h3>\n<p>Search for&nbsp; <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/programs\/mindful-eating-for-binge-eating\/get-started\/\">Am I Hungry? indful Eating for Binge Eating Program or therapist<\/a> in your area<\/p>\n<h3>Mindful Eating for Binge Eating Retreat<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/mindful-eating-for-binge-eating-retreat\/\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-32687\" src=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/ME-BE-Retreats-300x251.png\" alt=\"Mindful-Eating-Binge-Eating-Retreats\" width=\"300\" height=\"251\" srcset=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/ME-BE-Retreats-300x251.png 300w, https:\/\/amihungry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/ME-BE-Retreats-768x644.png 768w, https:\/\/amihungry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/ME-BE-Retreats-600x503.png 600w, https:\/\/amihungry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/ME-BE-Retreats-298x250.png 298w, https:\/\/amihungry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/ME-BE-Retreats.png 940w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Join us for a <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/mindful-eating-for-binge-eating-retreat\/\">Mindful Eating for Emotional and Binge Eating Retreat<\/a> to heal your relationship with food and your body!<\/p>\n<p>As you describe in your question, for many people, binge eating is a way to escape or disconnect from thoughts or feelings that seem intolerable. I really hope you will seek help to address these challenges!<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime, here are some suggestions to help when you notice you feel like bingeing.<\/p>\n<h2>What to do when you feel like bingeing<\/h2>\n<h3><strong>Self-Compassion<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>As difficult as it may be to fathom, the first step to breaking this cycle is self-compassion. After all, you don\u2019t binge because you are \u201cweak-willed,\u201d \u201cstupid,\u201d or \u201cout of control.\u201d You do it because you are trying to take care of yourself! And binge eating works to help you feel better \u2013 at least temporarily.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Validate Yourself<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Validate your thoughts, feelings, and actions as being normal and understandable given the circumstances. As Dr. Kari Anderson, my co-author of <a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/marketplace\/binge-eating-set\/\">Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat for Binge Eating and the Companion Workbook<\/a>, says, \u201c<em>Of course!<\/em>\u201d It\u2019s like saying, \u201c<em>I totally get why you thought, felt, or did that!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, I understand that you might be afraid that if you\u2019re \u201cnice\u201d to yourself, you won\u2019t change, but the opposite is true! You care for yourself <em>because<\/em> you accept yourself, not <em>so<\/em> you\u2019ll accept yourself.<\/p>\n<p>This validation and unconditional acceptance creates a safe environment for experimenting with new thoughts, feelings, and actions.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Nonjudgmental Awareness<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Mindful eating is all about bringing nonjudgmental awareness to your choices and experiences with eating and acknowledging that you were doing the best you could in that moment. Nonjudgment is essential because it provides a more objective understanding of what happened and why.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Self-Care Voice<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>The next step is to cultivate your Self-Care Voice. We all know that harsh critical voice that shames us when we feel we\u2019ve done something wrong. That voice can keep us stuck in a shame cycle.<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, your Self-Care Voice wants the best for you. It is unconditionally compassionate, affirming, and accepting. Your Self-Care voice is the voice of kindness and wisdom. It guides you to learn from your mistakes, face your challenges, and loves you unconditionally, faults and all.<\/p>\n<p>Your self-care voice might say something like, <em>\u201cI know you feel like you don\u2019t belong, and you binged to try to feel better and less alone. I\u2019m sorry you feel physically and emotionally worse right now. I don\u2019t think food really gives you the connection you are seeking. What can you experiment with that might work better?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Anonymous, I hope this answers the question <em>what is binge eating?<\/em> and helps you begin to see another way of thinking about BED. I truly hope you will take the next steps to deal with binge eating and the underlying causes.<\/p>\n<p><em>This article is updated from a previous version.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"elementor-post__title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/emotional-eating-vs-binge-eating\">What is the difference between emotional eating and binge eating?<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"elementor-post__title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/binge-eating-disorder-and-dieting-often-two-sides-of-the-same-coin\">Binge eating disorder and dieting: Often two sides of the same coin<\/a><\/p>\n<p class=\"elementor-post__title\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/articles\/help-im-a-binge-eater\">Help! I&#8217;m a binge eater!<\/a><\/p>\n<p><script src=\"\/\/static.leadpages.net\/leadboxes\/current\/embed.js\" async=\"\" defer=\"\"><\/script> <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/amihungry.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/img_5e90ef4f53435.jpg\" alt=\"Click here to subscribe\" data-leadbox-popup=\"tSwhcGbs4AJm42PupWTLMQ\" data-leadbox-domain=\"amihungry.lpages.co\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this video, Dr. Michelle May addresses the question, \u201cWhat if you binge because you live alone and lack a feeling of love and belonging?\u201d As difficult as it may be to fathom, the first step to breaking this cycle is self-compassion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":25657,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"pmpro_default_level":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[38,39],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What is binge eating? 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