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I Choose: A Journey from Restrictive Eating to Freedom!

Jessie Russo

Jessie Hiking in Sedona - smThe article Got Cravings? Three Words to Eliminate from your Vocabulary really resonated with me as someone who lived in a Restrictive Eating Cycle for most of my teens and early twenties.

When I turned 25, I made a commitment to take better care of myself.  I was exhausted from my restrictive lifestyle! I saw my health being affected by my choices so I promised myself I wouldn’t take this restrictive lifestyle into my thirties. I began to shift my focus from being thin to being healthy. I made huge strides and became very healthy physically. I was eating nutritious foods and exercising a healthy amount. Even my doctor was giving me praise for being at a healthy weight and having top notch results on my blood work.

However, I was still totally preoccupied with food. I had placed new rules and restrictions on different food groups, and unless it was on my “good” foods list, it didn’t come anywhere near my mouth.

Dairy, among others, had become my nemesis. I noticed I didn’t feel my best after I ate it, but do I have a severe dairy allergy? No. It didn’t matter though. I wouldn’t allow even a trace of it to come close to me for fear of inflammation and a bloated stomach. I began to realize I was now obsessed with healthy eating and had welcomed a new form of restrictive eating into my life. The three word’s “I can’t have” were a part of my daily vocabulary (some days it seemed like the only words) and they ruled my life.

After going through the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program and Facilitator Training, I’ve realized I have the choice to eat anything I want. ANYTHING! There are no good or bad foods and there isn’t anything “I can’t have.”  Because dairy does bother my system I still stay away from it, but now I just listen to what my body tells me and I eat with intention and attention. I eat with the intention of feeling better when I’m done than I did when I started, and really pay attention to how different foods affect my body.  If I really want a brownie, and it happens to be made with dairy, I eat it anyway. Sometimes my favorite desserts are worth a belly ache!

Changing my vocabulary has been a huge part of changing my thoughts around food. This journey has taken me from “I can’t” to “I choose” and that is the sweet sound of freedom I never thought possible!

Have you had any challenges or success with changing your self-talk, for example, from “I can’t have” to “I choose”? What do you do when your “little voice” starts speaking to you?

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