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How to make THIS New Year different

Michelle May

Make-New-Year-Different

Despite our enthusiasm for a fresh start (especially after the holidays), New Year’s resolutions are often short-lived. If you want to make this New Year different, focus on why you do what you do instead of resolving to change your behaviors.

Check out this video: How to make this New Year different.

In this video, I share a New Year’s story of my own, talk about why the usual resolutions aren’t always effective, and the key to making this year different.

Key points from the video about making this New Year different

New Year’s resolutions often focus on actions and results – like going on a diet or joining a gym. They usually don’t succeed because they don’t address the underlying reasons you make the choices you do.

For example, being on a diet ignores the reasons you want to eat when you’re not hungry. It simply puts you in a restrictive mode of following the rules that eventually lead to deprivation and cravings. At some point you switch to overeating mode and revert back to eating in reaction to emotions or other cues.

That’s why it’s essential to recognize why you eat.

Now consider your own intentions and resolutions for the New Year. What do you want to be different? And are you trying to get there by only changing your behavior, or are you going deeper to understand why you do what you do?

Check out the next video for a way to make your intentions or resolutions more effective so you make changes that last.

To truly make this new year different, join us in our Level 1 Mindful Eating Support Community! Click here to learn more!

This article has been updated from a previously published version.

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32 thoughts on “How to make THIS New Year different”

  1. I appreciate your video right now because here it is, New Years Eve, and here I am planning to jump on board with a weight loss plan. I have organized a small weight loss challenge with 5 other people. All of us really want to lose weight and we all have and we all have gained it right back, plus more. Listening to your video made me stop and think about the same old patterns I repeat over and over again. Things will be different this time…I hope!

    1. Been there, done that Karen! The thing is, weight loss is NOT a behavior! And since it isn’t sustainable for most people anyway, it distracts us from focusing on the choices we make day to day that really do lead to improved well-being. So what might those choices be?

  2. I want to become curious about why I do what I do. I definitely see the missing knowledge about my motivations as essential to permanent change.

  3. I am making my goals for 2019, and as I need to loose weight for health reasons your video was a good reminder for me. I try to make 5-6 goals, with action plans at the beginning of each year. One goal is something fun I want to do. As I continue to work to improve myself, health and well being I make 1 or 2 goals health related, and I have had lasting life changes although baby steps! One of my goals 2 years ago was to eat more fish. I achived this goal and now eat fish at least one meal a week at home, plus I choose fish over chicken or beef when I eat out. I have found a number of the healthy fast casual resturants that we go to for lunch on Saturday have salmon or tuna choices and I now choose the fish most of the time. At home when my husband wants pork chops I often have a grilled piece of tuna or salmon instead. I have had less success with the exercise goals, and now arthritis in my knee is limiting me even more. I am praying that this year I can find an exercise goal that and action plan that I can achieve.

    1. I love your small changes approach to your goals Debbie! As I’ve mentioned to a couple of others, weight loss is a problematic resolution or goal because it is not a behavior. Could you apply your strategy of setting goals and creating action plans to focusing on additional behavior changes that will contribute to your well-being whether your weight changes or not? (For more about why I don’t encourage weight loss goals: https://amihungry.com/articles/mindful-eating-and-weight-loss/)

  4. I have had success losing weight in the past, but these last few years, I’ve really struggled. Why? Because I’m not eating solely out of hunger. Food as been my answer to stress, feeling tired, lonely, anxious, upset, disappointed etc. For 2019, I want to achieve food freedom. I want to walk by a table of sweets and not feel overwhelmed by the powerful pull they have on me. I want to end eat-repent-repeat cycles! I want to find ways to soothe myself other than food/eating. I want to get to the root of the problems I am experiencing.

    1. Thanks for posting Amy – I’m sure many people can relate to your struggles with emotional eating and cravings. Although it might seem counter-intuitive, letting go of your focus on weight loss is a good first step toward breaking the power food has on you. A second step (and sometimes even more challenging) is to begin to recognize the connections between why you want to eat and what your underlying need might be. Stay tuned for more on how to do this!

  5. Although I am borderline obese, for me, it’s not about weight loss. I’ve done some work on the reasons for my binge eating disorder, (with your books) but still my behavior with food is out of control. I’ve wanted to participate in one of your retreats over the past several years; timing and costs haven’t allowed for that. And maybe I don’t really deserve it?

    1. Oh Pam! You ABSOLUTELY deserve it! Our retreats are literally life-changing – and one thing you will learn is just how worthy you are! I hope to get to work with you in person very soon!

  6. I hope to stop and discover what I really need when I eat when I am not hungry. Then I hope to be able to meet that need in a way that doesn’t include food.

    1. This is a wonderful intention Susan. If I may add, food might be a way you sometimes meet a need (such as comfort or pleasure); when it isn’t the primary way you attempt to meet your needs, it won’t feel so out of balance.

  7. I eat mostly healthy foods, and I exercise 5+ days a week. My main concern is that I overeat…eat when I’m not hungry. I have always called this ‘mindless’ eating. I could have a snack before I leave work about 3:30, and then get home about 4:30 and still be craving chips and salsa even though I’m not hungry. At work, it’s like you said in the video, I can’t go past the break room without seeing what’s in there, and if it’s something like donuts (which I rarely eat), I will eat one even if I just had breakfast an hour ago. I really want to work on paying attention to whether I’m hungry or not. I am going to try to be more mindful in everything I do, as well as trying out meditation and adding at least one day of yoga into my life.

    1. Sue, a helpful addition to this will be to pause when you notice you are wanting to eat and you aren’t hungry; a body-mind-heart scan may help you begin to sort out WHY you want to eat. In this way, you aren’t making it about resisting the food, but using desire to eat as an opportunity to recognize your needs. Make sense? (Your yoga and meditation will be good practice for noticing what it happening in the present moment.)

  8. Michelle, I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions but in the back of my mind is the ever present need to lose weight and get some exercise. I have no idea what the base reasons are for my eating too much and of the wrong things except that I love food! The taste, texture, pure joy with the experience. Just the word diet makes me want to eat more and stock up on what I will be missing out on. I need to lose the weight and exercise for health reasons besides wanting to look and feel better. What can be done for someone like me?

    1. I’m glad you asked Darlene! And I’m glad you recognize that diets are triggering – true for most people at some point. The first thing I would suggest is that you let go of losing weight as your goal. There are MANY reasons for this but here are three simple ones: 1) Weight loss is not a behavior, so you can’t “do” it anyway. 2) The vast majority of people who lose weight will regain it (this is indisputable!). Therefore, if you resolve to lose weight, you are really resolving to weight cycle. 3) Contrary to what we see just about everywhere, weight loss doesn’t necessarily lead to better health anyway, because most studies are correlation, not causation. (And it doesn’t matter if you can’t sustain it anyway, but I’ve already made that point!).

      Instead, can you focus on a few small changes that are sustainable and may actually lead to better health? Based on your comment, I might suggest a few places to start (and of course, the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program will teach you how to do these!):
      – It is awesome that you enjoy food so much (I do too!). I’m all about “eating what you love” – but do you know whether you are even hungry when you eat?
      – You mentioned eating too much. There are hundreds of reasons that may be happening, so it is important to learn how to figure that out.
      – You said you eat the “wrong things.” I don’t thing there is any such thing as the “wrong things”! All foods can fit into a balanced diet, so instead, you could learn a way to make decisions about food without guilt.
      – And of course, exercise is great – as long as your why is more about feeling good, having fun, etc. – not about burning calories!

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