Do you need to improve your most important relationship—the relationship with yourself? Here are eight ways to be your Valentine.
How to Be Your Valentine
What are you doing for the love of your life—yourself—on Valentine’s Day?
Pause… notice whether that question made you uncomfortable. If so, why?
- Do you feel undeserving?
- Do you feel unimportant?
- Do you tend to put yourself last?
- Did somebody tell you it was wrong to love yourself?
- Are you waiting until you achieve some arbitrary goal first?
- Are you afraid if you accept yourself as you are, you won’t be motivated to make changes?
These are lies that undermine the most important relationship you’ll ever have—your relationship with yourself. When self-acceptance and self-love is lacking, self-care is usually lacking too. That leaves a bottomless pit that can’t be filled with food—or anything or anybody else.
Valentine’s gifts for yourself
Is it time for a relationship makeover? Here are eight gifts to give yourself to be your Valentine and let the love of your life know exactly how you feel! (Download this one page printable version of Be Your Valentine.)
Gift #1: Love and Acceptance
Your first gift to yourself is unconditional love and acceptance. This means you love and accept yourself as you are right now—no caveats, no “excepts” or “whens” or “buts.”
It may not be easy if you are used to being hard on yourself, but practice being as kind and as compassionate toward yourself as you are to others. Since you take care of the people and things you love, this is a good first step toward self-care.
Gift #2: Affirmation
It takes a little effort and repetition to retrain your brain to speak to yourself in loving, positive ways. Choose a simple affirmation you can easily remember and repeat it frequently. Here are a few examples: I am worthy, I accept myself, or You rock!
You can also try writing “love” notes to yourself. Place them on your mirror, computer, nightstand, or where ever you’ll see them and be reminded you are lovable and loved.
Gift #3: Nurture
Do something wonderful for yourself! It sends a clear message that you are valued.
Treat yourself to a long bath, a massage, a movie, a cup of coffee on the porch—whatever will show you how much you care.
Gift #4: Nourish
Treat yourself to a nourishing, delicious meal. Choose an interesting recipe and purchase fresh, beautiful ingredients that you’ll lovingly combine for your special guest—you! (Or if you prefer, you can take yourself out instead.)
Enjoy your lovely meal without any distractions and be good company for yourself.
Gift #5: Move
Take yourself out for a long walk, turn up the music and dance, play soccer with your kids, try that yoga class you’ve been thinking about, or play fetch with your dog – whatever feels like fun!
Express gratitude for the amazing body that has carried you through all these years. Love it by moving it and it will love you back!
Gift #6: Trust
Buy yourself two or three pieces of the best chocolates you can afford. Trust yourself to eat them in a way that brings you joy and pleasure.
And if you overdo it, trust your body to provide feedback.
Gift #7: Inspire
Inspire yourself with a great book, beautiful music, a breathtaking view, or whatever reminds you just how lucky you are to be alive to experience it.
As we replace food with other ways to fill ourselves up, our lives become more full and satisfying!
Gift #8: Excite
Don’t allow your relationship to stagnate. Be brave and do something big that makes your heart pound a little.
Stretch yourself beyond your boundaries: sign up for that class, plan that trip, make that call, take that risk… what are you waiting for?
You are not perfect. Get over it.
You are not perfect—no one is. But you ARE lovable, deserving, important, and beautiful just the way you are!
If there is something about yourself or your life you’d like to change, do it because you love yourself, not so you’ll love yourself.
Download this one page printable reminder to Be Your Valentine – eight steps you can take to love and care for yourself more!
This article has been updated from a previously published version.
If you enjoyed this article, here are three more to help you:
How to accept yourself as you are right now
Don’t Stop Emotional Eating! Learn from it instead!